Kevin punched me in the face for seeing "Mama Mia" this weekend instead of the "The Dark Knight." This reminds me of the time when we were kids when he punched me for watching "Xanadu" instead of "Mad Max." And the time I watched "Little Shop of Horrors" instead of "Die Hard." Kevin, can't you just let well enough alone....I forgot to tell you, I left "Dream Girls" in the DVD...I'll pick up ice and a steak on the way home for my other eye.
I was going through old photos and found this. I'm such a Patriot.
There is a new beverage out there called "Hep-C!" Their new mascot is Mr. Kool AIDS. In the commericials he jumps out of a syringe exclaiming "Oh NOOOOO!"
This week we have a fantastic talent on the show! His name is Paul Case. He has blue collar roots hidden under his metro exterior. He's been described as dry and witty. He's like a Pino Grigio with a great label. Check out his website at www.paulcase.com or his myspace page. He's been on MTV, Law & Order, here TV's Hot Gay Comics and Busted with his signature segment "Madonna Minute." Do you think Jodi will make out with him before the end of the show? Let's find out!
Now that the Golden Globes are cancelled, I was still going to throw a Desperate Housewives Season 1 party for all my "gals." Kevin replied to the evite and told my guests that I have crabs and that I sit on the couch in the nude. No one is coming and now he can watch the San Diego vs. Indiana game this weekend. Do you know how much I had to google to figure out who's playing? Ladies I was told this in confidence but Kevin has the clap so don't sit on that lap! Sorry Kev.
This weekend Kevin threw a Paternity Party to congratulate Kevin Federiline's win and Britney's demise. Kevin played the entire season of "Britney & Kevin: Chaotic" and hit a Britney Piñata.
Joe Torre rejects his $5 million contract. Looks like the Yankees are making a turn on a new path. Could it be a bad path? Not that they've been doing that well anyway. But, Kevin has had an erection all day and I've been completely ambivalent.
Leona Helmsley has willed $12 million dollars to her lap dog...the only breathing think that loved her apparently. I will always think of this bitch when I'm writing Sallie Mae another check to pay for my useless Music Theater degree. Any rich old people want me to sit on your lap and go for walks? I will even shit in a park and eat Alpo. I need to climb out of middle class poverty, stat!
Kevin doesn't pay me enough to do the show, so I'm pitching a show to VH1 today. With the popularity of Flavor of Love, I'm pringing a gay show to the table with "A-Vilanch of Love." A house full of elegible bachelors fight for the love of Bruce Vilanch. It'll be a hit!
